A serious post, not for attention this time

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Hayesimus

Guest
#1
So… a bit about me and my fam. My mom’s parents died when she was 8. Her father allegedly shot her mom, who was known for her random encounters with men, and then shot himself. She was raised by a relative and was allegedly mistreated while her two sisters were given preferential treatment. She later married to a man who turned out to be gay and had my sister and then my brother. She had an affair on her first husband with my dad. She then married my dad and had me. A year or two later he cheated on her and they got divorced.

My dad was born in New Orleans and had like 9 brothers and sisters. He moved to a small town in Arkansas for some reason and met my mom. After I was born, he began drinking heavily. They divorced when I was three or so. I thereforee have only a couple memories of them being together. After the divorce his life began a slow but steady decline. He lost his good job. He began using drugs and drinking even more. He was involved in multiple drunken car wrecks, any of which could’ve ended his life prematurely. My mom would send a list of phone numbers in a secret spot of my bags when I’d visit him for the weekend. She’d say, “Now when he kidnaps you, here’s who you need to call.” And yeah my dad began showing up in the news paper on a regular basis for drugs, DWI’s, assault and battery, etc. This sucked because we have the same name. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your teachers come up to you in school and try to be sympathetic about it when you are just embarrassed beyond belief?

My mom married my then-stepdad Bob. He was a jerk and belittled me and condescended me at every turn. I had low self-esteem growing up the entire time he was in my life. When I was about to go into the 9th grade, he had an affair on my mom. This is around the time she started being “sick” and he wanted no part of her drama. Well, up until she became a hypochondriac, my mom was my hero. I loved her with all my heart and wanted nothing more than to make her proud of me. Then she changed. She became the root of all evil. She became adversarial and needy and manipulative. She on one occasion made me hide all of the food in our pantry in her bedroom so that we’d look poor when the church came to bring us food. She would constantly yell at me about everything. I began to hate her.

Well, then there was the day she told me my dad wanted to come visit us at home. There was a restraining order on him from my home til I turned 18. I was about 15 at this point. I told her I didn’t want him there. She pleaded that he was about to turn himself in since there was a warrant out for him and he just wanted to see me before he went to jail. I still said no. She let him come anyway. Then she asked if he could spend the night. I said no. She let him anyway. He slept in her bed. I was disgusted. Then when he got out of jail not too long after that, she would invite him over and stuff so he would do things for her like mow the lawn and fix the fence and fix the leaky faucet. She used him and pretended that she was just trying to fix things between them. My sister wouldn’t bring my nephew to my mom’s as long as he was visiting. And my aunt quit having anything to do with her also. He was going to AA so she said he deserved a second chance. Then the beer bottles started showing up. I found them everywhere, like in our storage shed, under the ramp leading to our door (since my mom was “sick” and needed a wheel chair in public) and even in the ditch next to our house. Well, by this point my mom has lost control of me entirely. I don’t obey anything she says. I came home one day and my dad told me belligerently that “we need to talk.” I said, “Whatever.” I gave him the hand and started toward my room. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me down into a chair in the living room in front of my mom. I could smell the beer on his breath. He snatched my glasses off my face and started pointing his finger right in my face and said, “if you don’t listen to your mother, I’m gonna F*** you up!” (Among other things.) I would have called the police right then, but I was afraid he break my cell phone. So I went to my room and when I heard him leave I walked back into the living room and said, “If I EVER see him again, I will call the police,” and walked away ignoring my mother’s pathetic apologies. Well, so my mother and I got worse. Just the sound of her voice could make my blood pressure rise and I was having repressed anger issues. Then I stayed out all night long playing computer games with some friends of mine. I know, I was a terrible kid, right? I’d never done drugs, never tasted alcohol, didn’t cuss, and I was getting pretty good grades in school. She freaked out and told me she was gonna send me to boot camp. Well my family stopped her and she kicked me out. I had to go live with my sister the summer before my senior year. After some more drama I moved in with my aunt. And then after some other minor drama and quitting one of my jobs after graduation, I moved back in with my mom. The conflict continued. She dropped a bottle of her pills under her chair and couldn’t find them so she called everyone that knew me and told them I was stealing her drugs and using them. Then she called them again at some point and told them no I wasn’t using them, I was selling them. That’s how I had my money. Then she found them, but never bothered to call anyone and clear my name. I decided to move out before I quite literally went nuts. Well, so there was this chair in my room. She told me I couldn’t take it because it was hers. Well, I objected and took the chair anyway because it was mine and it was the principal of the deal. Well, in between moving trips, I was eating dinner with my aunt and she called me and said I had better return “her” chair. I said, “I don’t have a chair belonging to you.” She replied, “Well, I hope you don’t miss your stereo.” I said, “Okay, so you are holding my stereo hostage?” She confirmed this. I then proceeded to tell her in a loud voice exactly how I wish she would be killed. So I moved out. I had nothing but contempt for her at this point.

Skipping over some drama, I had to move back in with her so I could save money to buy my aunt’s house. While I was managing one night at the movie store, my dad showed up. This is the first time I’ve seen him in probably 3 years. He was drunk. He asked me if I could rent on his friends account. He was pretending he didn’t know who I was. I said, “Let me check.” I went to the office and locked the door. I called the cops and told them he was drunk and driving and he was in public in our store. They came and picked him up. Rather than arresting him for DWI and PI, they took him home! That’s the last time I’ve seen him. He’s been in trouble with the law many times since according to our local newspaper. And I heard he almost went to prison for assaulting a woman when he was drunk with a candle holder. My mom and I are on better terms now that I’ve had an extended period of time away from her since I moved into my house. I still don’t love her though. But I’m more tolerant because I think she is this way because she has a psychological disorder. But she won’t get diagnosed for it.

Anyway, yeah so there’s just the abridged version of my life involving my parents or lack thereof. So if I seem like I’m trying to get attention or like I’m dramatic, then you don’t know the half of it. I left out the year long depression I went through. It was brought about when my girlfriend moved to New Orleans with another guy. We were supposed to go to college together there since I had relatives there. She was my best friend and I loved her. So I was heartbroken when she just left me here. Then I began scrutinizing my life. I began to feel like I had no one that loved me. I would get home after school and just go lay in my bed for hours. I didn’t eat. If I got hungry I’d drink sprite until I was so full that I wasn’t hungry anymore. I might eat like once a day or every other day. I even started thinking that I wanted to drive my car into a tree. I wasn’t suicidal. I just wondered if I was hurt, would people crowd around me and pray, or would I be in a hospital bed in a lonely room. I got over it though. And I realize that despite life’s challenges and set-backs, it doesn’t matter as long as I like me. And I do.

ANYWAY… I’m sorry if I seem a little weird. I’m always trying to be funny because it’s the way I cope with life in general. If I didn’t laugh about it or try to make others laugh then it would be a dismal experience. And I guess I might like attention since I never got the kind of attention I wanted or needed. Anyway, this might be depressing, but maybe now people will understand me and why I might get defensive about stuff and why I take what people say a little too seriously. So there you go. Lata
 
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#2
wow you are a very strong individual... i don't think of you as an attention whore... i just saw you as a funny guy... but i guess we all have our past right? i think u are an amzing, intelligent, wonderful person... you have battled through a lot but even through everything, you never once gave up... you kept on going... hayes im glad that you have shared something this deep with us... i feel like ive known you forever!:laugh2:
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#3
thank you! I have had some bad experiences, but they help me see how truly great the good times are. And i'm not alone, its like you say, everyone has their story. I just know that I want to better myself and make my name something respectable. A complete contrast to my father and mother you might say. Anyway. Everything is super now. So yeah. lol
 
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Starry

Guest
#4
My Darling Hayes....

Don't fret about the past or the people in it.. there's a reason why they never made it to your future...

We choose our own destiny, choose yours wisely and it sounds like you have! We all have a past, some worse then others, some silver lined.. but if you stay true to your heart and your soul there isn't anything in life you can't achieve or at least AIM for!
I'm proud of you .. I'm proud of WHO you are and what you're trying to become ... I commend you my dear... :)

*Tight Hugs* and I'm here if you ever need to talk to someone.. if I can help I will, if I can't ... I'll listen and think :)
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#5
aww thanks starry! i will remember that. the next time something goes wrong, so probably tomorrow lol. starry, what do you do for a living? you should be a counselor or therapist. you're so disarming. I GOT IT! you could be a hostage negotiator!
 

aggieman

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Jul 6, 2007
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#6
wow bro I've had a pretty traumatic relationship with my mom and the laundry list of losers, drugs, and alcohol she brought into my life as a kid but nothing like that. You seem like a strong and intelligent guy. Cheers to you for making it through all that adversity and turning out alright. Most people in that situation take on the characteristics of their parents. I luckily had my father to always show me the right way even though my mom had custody of me. But its quite impressive that you have found your way on your own without the guidance of either of your parents.
 
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Starry

Guest
#7
LOL..... Yeah... well lets give the short version :)

I was a professional country singer for 20 years in Vegas.. I swear Alan Jackson wrote that song for me! I've toured with big guns and headlined every casino BUT Caesar's Palace! I went to College to be an Attorney and one day be the first Supreme Court Judge with Red Lined lips, long blonde hair and long nails... :) If you look at any of my pics there are like 5000 all around you'll see that my right hand pinky nail is painted white with a design that matches the other 9 fingers... that's the hand I hold my mic with and I'm a Whitney Houston "Thumper" on the mic.. gotta tap the mic when I sing.. I can't hold the mic with my left hand for some reason it goes crashing to the floor haven't figured that one out yet :) I've been divorced 22 years, married Storm & Rachels father who I got in a bar fight while I was a lingere model and I broke his nose and felt bad so I married the SOB... NOW.. I am in Real Estate :) and STILL Divorced.. however some folks are trying to figure out.. "Is she dating Tinman or married to him".. "Is Hondamaker her man"... "Is she dating iPhoneTony since he's moving to the south (Sorry folks he's going to NC I'm in TX)".... so see... the world is a mystery :)


And yes I've been told my life should be a Lifetime Movie! LOL

Here's my Official Page http://www.starrlyn.com not much there I told my management firm to stop updating it! LOL
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#8
well i owe it all to my aunt and sister. i would go to my aunts house on a regular basis much to my mom's chagrin. After things began to change in my mom, my aunt was more of a role model for me. I received a lot of my core values and morals from her and my sister was there for moral support also. We are the closest 3 in my family. Sorta a mini triumvirate
 

depthnerd

New Member
Feb 16, 2008
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#9
aww thanks starry! i will remember that. the next time something goes wrong, so probably tomorrow lol. starry, what do you do for a living? you should be a counselor or the rapist. you're so disarming. I GOT IT! you could be a hostage negotiator!
I just had to point this out.
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#10
LOL..... Yeah... well lets give the short version :)

I was a professional country singer for 20 years in Vegas.. I swear Alan Jackson wrote that song for me! I've toured with big guns and headlined every casino BUT Caesar's Palace! I went to College to be an Attorney and one day be the first Supreme Court Judge with Red Lined lips, long blonde hair and long nails... :) If you look at any of my pics there are like 5000 all around you'll see that my right hand pinky nail is painted white with a design that matches the other 9 fingers... that's the hand I hold my mic with and I'm a Whitney Houston "Thumper" on the mic.. gotta tap the mic when I sing.. I can't hold the mic with my left hand for some reason it goes crashing to the floor haven't figured that one out yet :) I've been divorced 22 years, married Storm & Rachels father who I got in a bar fight while I was a lingere model and I broke his nose and felt bad so I married the SOB... NOW.. I am in Real Estate :) and STILL Divorced.. however some folks are trying to figure out.. "Is she dating Tinman or married to him".. "Is Hondamaker her man"... "Is she dating iPhoneTony since he's moving to the south (Sorry folks he's going to NC I'm in TX)".... so see... the world is a mystery :)


And yes I've been told my life should be a Lifetime Movie! LOL

Here's my Official Page http://www.starrlyn.com not much there I told my management firm to stop updating it! LOL

on lifetime? ... well i'd watch it but i'd say i watched it on like Spike or something haha
 

IphoneTony

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Nov 10, 2007
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#13
Thanks for added all of this... Takes a lot to say all that online or in person. Shows you are still strong...

I hope you did not type all of that on the iPhone... cause wow that must of taking some time with an iPhone...
 

depthnerd

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Feb 16, 2008
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#14
Only YOU would figure THAT out.. *rolling eyes*
I learned from a collection of old urls that were meant to say something but said something different. There was penisland, a place that sold pen's, expertsexchage which was for people exchanging ideas, and molestation which was for peope who cared for moles a little too much.
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#15
Thanks for added all of this... Takes a lot to say all that online or in person. Shows you are still strong...

I hope you did not type all of that on the iPhone... cause wow that must of taking some time with an iPhone...


HAHA! tell me about it! i always tell my friends on myspace to not expect much in the way of replies because i just don't have the patience to type an adequate response. no that was done on the computer at home.
 
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Hayesimus

Guest
#16
I learned from a collection of old urls that were meant to say something but said something different. There was penisland, a place that sold pen's, expertsexchage which was for people exchanging ideas, and molestation which was for peope who cared for moles a little too much.

i had heard it before too, but it was on SNL during the whole Alex Trebeck and Sean Connery Jeopardy skit
 

kokogirl

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Sep 8, 2007
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#17
Hayes-you are a really strong person to make it through that childhood. Hearing stories like yours make me want to go love my kids
more. Maybe I should wake them up and tell them I love them again. I can't believe people treat their kids in the way you were treated. Noone desearves that kind of crap.

Kind of makes the iPhones lack of copy & paste and flash seem not very important.
 

patrickj

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Sep 2, 2007
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#18
Hayes-you are a really strong person to make it through that childhood. Hearing stories like yours make me want to go love my kids
more. Maybe I should wake them up and tell them I love them again. I can't believe people treat their kids in the way you were treated. Noone desearves that kind of crap.

Kind of makes the iPhones lack of copy & paste and flash seem not very important.
Yeah - what she said. Except for her last sentence, which is ridiculous of course ...:)
 

coasts

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Jul 15, 2007
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#19
Hayes, move to New York...sounds like you'd fit right in.

plus we've got the nations best therapists.

im more serious than you might think.
 

depthnerd

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Feb 16, 2008
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#20
Hayes, move to New York...sounds like you'd fit right in.

plus we've got the nations best therapists.

im more serious than you might think.
That made me ROFL.