iPhone Haiku

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x999x

New Member
Gold
Aug 6, 2007
1,656
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0
#6
sleek black shiny chrome
touch see flip mesmerizing
amazing beauty

any other Haiku writers?
Very nice, the last bit had me thinking. As I read your ode to your iPhone I can't help but notice you have all but avoided mentioning this as an electronic device, or made a reference to it's technology. Rather the only semblance of it is derived from what isn't a description of the phone itself, and thats "mesmerizing beauty."

Well done, I think Apple would be proud.
 

kokogirl

New Member
Gold
Sep 8, 2007
2,319
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Sunny Florida
#9
Very nice, the last bit had me thinking. As I read your ode to your iPhone I can't help but notice you have all but avoided mentioning this as an electronic device, or made a reference to it's technology. Rather the only semblance of it is derived from what isn't a description of the phone itself, and thats "mesmerizing beauty."

Well done, I think Apple would be proud.
sorry misread what you said -thanks! Will you give us a Haiku, too?
 

kokogirl

New Member
Gold
Sep 8, 2007
2,319
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#10
Uhh...for us people who aren't poets...could you please further explain a haiku. I am far too lazy to google it.
You don't have to be a great poet to write a Haiku. Traditionally first line 5 syllables, 2nd line 7, 3rd line 5. However, I read some other Haikus that don't follow this form. (I wiki'd it). Had some time on my hands this afternoon...
 

geordisjd

Zealot
Bronze
Jul 1, 2007
2,442
12
38
#13
sleek black shiny chrome
hate, love, hate, love
Apple sucks

---------------
Sorry, couldn't resist this opportunity to poke fun.​

Remember I failed poetry in High School, and it shows.

once I had a dream (5)
my phone was a computer (7)
Apple gave it to me (5)

a bright and shiny (5)
sliver of technology (7)
that tickles me pink (5)


Now in French:

derniers jours d'été (5)
une pomme sur le pommier (7)
un mobile de reves (5)

I think I had enough for now.​
 

kokogirl

New Member
Gold
Sep 8, 2007
2,319
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Sunny Florida
#18
Remember I failed poetry in High School, and it shows.

once I had a dream (5)
my phone was a computer (7)
Apple gave it to me (5)

a bright and shiny (5)
sliver of technology (7)
that tickles me pink (5)


Now in French:

derniers jours d'été (5)
une pomme sur le pommier (7)
un mobile de reves (5)

I think I had enough for now.[/CENTER]
It's the thought that counts, now how good your poetry is. Excellent effort, IMO. I like the 2nd one you wrote in English best! :)