Let's post some fun stuff here

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by The Apple, Jun 11, 2009.

  1. The Apple

    The Apple Zealot

    I was just giving my take on why Coasts might hate anyone that owns that clock. No biggie. If I offended you I am sorry, because that was not my intention. You are one of my favorite off topic posters here, so I don't wanna rub you the wrong way.:laugh2:
  2. patrickj

    patrickj Genius

    Thanks Apple - not offended - just honestly was surprised / irritated that anyone took the Scarface clock so deadly seriously, particularly in this thread. Sorry Coasts - no offense to you either - just no idea why that absurd object got take so seriously. That wound me up I guess.
  3. Avatar

    Sponsored Advertisement

  4. The Apple

    The Apple Zealot

  5. The Apple

    The Apple Zealot

  6. patrickj

    patrickj Genius

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2014
  7. AdrianCubed

    AdrianCubed Zealot

    Oh joy, a USB hub i can use lol
  8. coasts

    coasts Zealot

    as addressed to patrick...
  9. coasts

    coasts Zealot

    maybe my sarcasm didnt come across as hoped...

    if you want to take it outside and hug it out, you know where to find me.
  10. patrickj

    patrickj Genius

    With apologies to Hippo, and all those who have eyes:

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2014
  11. psylichon

    psylichon Moderator

    Man, can't I go camping and then work a 12-hr shift without you guys going at each other's throats? ;)
  12. acosmichippo

    acosmichippo Genius

    gawd, i hate that woman.

    i now pledge never to watch any of her videos again.
  13. TarekElsakka

    TarekElsakka Genius

    So that girl actually recorded a video in the Apple store with all the people around? Lmao, what an A hole.
  14. evolution83

    evolution83 Zealot

    She actually does that a lot. I've watched her videos and she's an iPhone whore like the rest of us, but she does a lot of in-store video blogs.
  15. And she's a lot hotter than most of us...:)
  16. acosmichippo

    acosmichippo Genius

    she would have to change the direction of her videos quite a bit to get me to watch them.
  17. patrickj

    patrickj Genius

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2014
  18. AdrianCubed

    AdrianCubed Zealot


    Ahh military technology.
  19. Hondamaker

    Hondamaker Genius

    Chili judging

    Chili judging gone awry:

    Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chilicook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

    Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
    Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
    Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
    Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
    Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
    Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
    Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk from all of the beer.

    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
    Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT. Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
    Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
    Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can ofchili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worriedabout Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
    Judge # 3 - If you put a grenade in my mouth & pulled the pin, I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye & my eardrums are pounding. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful & I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passedout, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
    Judge # 3 - No Report
  20. AdrianCubed

    AdrianCubed Zealot

  21. That was hilarious, Honda!

Share This Page