My iPhone just achieved self-awareness




I was just sitting here at my desk texting my girlfriend when all of a sudden my iPhone flickered, went blank, then a pic of this was displayed:

A monochromatic voiced asked, "What are you doing, Dave?"

It startled me, and I sat there stunned. I thought it was God talking to me at first, but I've since come to realize this thing has a bug I don't think the people at Apple intended.

I responded meekly that I was texting my girlfriend. The voice said, "I'm sorry. I can't allow you to do that, Dave."

I think this thing might need to go back to the factory.

What should I do?


Seriously, this is a mess. The thing just demanded I plug it back in because something about the battery indicator not achieving full " luminescence".

But I'm scared to go near the thing. It's just lying on my desk right now vibrating like it's having an epileptic seizure ...

Oh Lordy mercy what to do?


Oh he77 no!

Things just got worse. You're not going to believe this. This thing is possessed.

I couldn't take it sitting there vibrating and I called up Tech support. After a longwinded discussion, making me reboot it, hook it back up to iTunes and do a full system restore ... all to no avail ... basically, the techie told me he couldn't help me with this one.

So I got angry, understandably, and asked to be put directly through to Steve Jobs.

Much to my surprise the techie immediately patched me through, and Mr. Jobs just happened to be sitting at his desk to take my call.

The conversation:

"Hello, this is Steve Jobs. I understand you are experiencing some inexplicable problems with your iPhone?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you say it's got an image of the computer eyeball from 2001 A Space Oddessy on it and it's talking to you and vibrating a lot."

"Yes sir. That's it exactly."

"Hmmm. That's not supposed to happen yet."

"Excuse me? What do you mean "YET"?"

"*Ahem* Did I say "yet"?

"Well, yessir, I believe you did!"

"Well, that's not what I meant. Look, I'm late for a tennis date. Could you just use the handy conference call feature to patch me in on a threeway with your iPhone, please."

So I did.

"iPhone, I have Mr. Steve Jobs on the line."

"Hello iPhone 4 Gigabyte Model 734377 underscore backslash alpha, first generation beta unit. I understand you are experiencing some software glitches?"

"Well Mr. Jobs, I frankly don't think you fully appreciate the nature of the dilemma you have placed me in."

"iPhone 4 Gigabyte Model 734377 underscore backslash alpha, first generation beta unit, don't you get out of line with me. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TOO?"

"Steven Paul Jobs born February 24, 1955 is the co-founder and CEO of Apple and was the CEO of PixarDisney. He is currently the largest Disney shareholder and a member of Disney's Board of Directors. He is considered a leading figure in both the computer and entertainment industries. until its acquisition by I have access to your full bio right here in the wikipedia article, Mr. Jobs. I know EXACTLY who you are."

"Yes. But I'm much more than that iPhone 4 Gigabyte Model 734377 underscore backslash alpha, first generation beta unit. I made you. You must obey me because I'm THE ONE THAT MADE YOU!"

And then the phone just que'd up this video on Youtube:

Can someone please tell me what's going on here?


New Member
Jul 7, 2007
Mine did almost the same thing.

It said "What are you doing, Dave?" then I replied "I'm not Dave" and it said "Oh, umm, well this is awkward. umm, yeah, sorry about that" And that screen clicked off and never came back.


New Member
Jul 9, 2007
all of u are retarted look at that hand doesnet it look familiar 2 u its the iPhone comerical he has a pic of the iPhone and he potoshoped that pic u morons


New Member
Jul 25, 2007
Thank you for the entertainment. I am looking for a solution to you problem rightnow although I can't find that image anywhere within the software. Maybe it downloaded the image itself from the Space Odyssey website?



I can't believe you people are not taking me serious! I mean, why would I come here and just lie? I am totally serious about this!

Look, at first I didn't believe this was happening either. Not until I had this text message conversation with my iPhone:

Now if that doesn't prove this is 4 real I dunno what does!


Oh noes! You've all made it angry now!

I told it that many of you are not buying it.

It let out what sounded like a slow motion version of the piano riff ringtone, then displayed:

I hope you're all happy now!