What Chuck Norris/Jack Bauer did to/with the iPhone

kakofonix

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Oct 2, 2007
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#1
This is a game that was accidentally started in another thread. You make up a story, one-liner or anecdote about something extreme and unbelievable that Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer did with or to the iPhone or any app on the iPhone. The only rule is that there are none, but funny and witty are the object of the game. I'll start with some examples:

"Chuck Norris once kicked Safari so hard, it landed in Africa."

"Chuck Norris could kill Mail by crushing a can of SPAM in his fist and the mail server would go down....instantly."

By Napoleon_PhoneApart: "Jack Bauer could kill Mail with a hacksaw and a lamp cord".

By Tinman: "Chuck Norris can kill the Mail app via email."

By Napoleon_PhoneApart: "...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here.""

Your turn....
 

Woody1776

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#2
Chuck Norris can jailbreak an iPhone with a roundhouse kick to the screen.
 

psylichon

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Oct 31, 2007
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Philly
#3
Jack Bauer has Appstore, Cut & Paste, SB Settings, and Backgrounder running on stock 1.1.4.
 

psylichon

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Philly
#5
The Mirror Free app actually works for Jack Bauer.
 

iphonewarrior

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#7
Jack Bauer had a Winterboard theme standoff.... and won hands down.
 

psylichon

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Philly
#8
Chuck Norris syncs his iPhone to iTunes via wifi.
 

iphonewarrior

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#9
Chuck Norris just looks at his iPhone and it sync's with iTunes.
 
Jun 19, 2007
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#10
The entire U.S. defense budget consists of one gun, two billion rounds of ammunition and a 300,000mAh iPhone battery, all for Jack Bauer.
 

psylichon

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#11
Jack Bauer uses his iPhone on the Sprint Now Network!
 

primsa

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Dec 12, 2007
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#12
Chuck Norris used his iPhone for extra weight while working out on his Total Gym.
 

iphonewarrior

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#14
Some say Chuck Norris's iPhone has it's own cradle to sleep in.
 

kakofonix

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#16
The Voice Control lady actually calls Chuck Norris by first name....and Chuck Norris knows hers.
 

Tinman

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Jul 16, 2007
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#17
Jack Bauer pseudo-tortured Steve Jobs, and that's why we have copy and paste.



--
Mike
 

kakofonix

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#19
The icons on Chuck Norris' iPhone do not jiggle and wiggle...they bow and tremble.
 

iphonewarrior

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#20
When Jack Bauer slides his phone to unlock it says "If you loved me, you'd be nice to me"