Wow, received some possible bad news

SikShift

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Jul 22, 2008
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#1
I feel like my heart has been ripped out...I just spoke with my GF a lil while ago, and she told me that her doctor told her that there is a chance that she might not be able to have kids. I don't what to do right now, we are planning on getting married in a lil over a year and the thought of not being able to be a father is really coming down hard on me...
 

smknSRT8

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Oct 13, 2007
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Is it a chence she WON"T be able to have kids or it is just going to be very difficult to have kids. Either way man, that is a bummer. Though, In the end the world tends to unfold as it should. Sik, everything will work out.
 

SikShift

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Is it a chence she WON"T be able to have kids or it is just going to be very difficult to have kids. Either way man, that is a bummer. Though, In the end the world tends to unfold as it should. Sik, everything will work out.
Its a chance that she WONT be able to have kids. I really hope so Dave...
 

smknSRT8

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Its a chance that she WONT be able to have kids. I really hope so Dave...
Dave?

Well hopefully that Doctor doesn't know what he is talking about. Maybe get a second and thrid opinion. You never know what someone else may say.
 

SikShift

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Dave?

Well hopefully that Doctor doesn't know what he is talking about. Maybe get a second and thrid opinion. You never know what someone else may say.
****, my bad Matt....I've got a million thoughts racing through my head right now, I cant think straight

She's going in for some lab work on Wednesday, so I'll have to wait and pray
 

Tex

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Jul 15, 2008
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#6
Understandably, that is hard to take. It is an issue that can be a huge strain on a relationship. If it is a "chance", that means there is still a chance she will be able to have children. I suppose that you will both need to try when you are ready, but then also lookinto alternative options (i.e. fertility drugs, invitro fertilization, etc.). There are many options out there, and she certainly is not alone in this perdicament.

ALl you can do is try to be as reassuring and positive for her. You need to be her rock....I know how difficult that can be in times of strain such as this one.

Keep you head up. Do not give in. THere is always adoption. I know an older couple who my parents helped with adopting their 2 children b/c they could not have their own. THey love those kids no different than if they were their own...and there are thousands of chldren in this country that are up for adoption that need a loving home. Use that option as a last resort. As long as y'all love each other, that is what matters. Look into all available options, and go with her to her next doctor's appointment when you both feel comfortable to move forward with having a child together.

And don't forget, be supportive as possible, and discuss it openly with her. I know it must be hard for you too, but you have to reassure her that there are many possibilities on the table, and you are willing to engage and explore all of them when she is ready to try.

Best of luck to you both and your future together. Hang in there.
 

SikShift

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Jul 22, 2008
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#7
Understandably, that is hard to take. It is an issue that can be a huge strain on a relationship. If it is a "chance", that means there is still a chance she will be able to have children. I suppose that you will both need to try when you are ready, but then also lookinto alternative options (i.e. fertility drugs, invitro fertilization, etc.). There are many options out there, and she certainly is not alone in this perdicament.

ALl you can do is try to be as reassuring and positive for her. You need to be her rock....I know how difficult that can be in times of strain such as this one.

Keep you head up. Do not give in. THere is always adoption. I know an older couple who my parents helped with adopting their 2 children b/c they could not have their own. THey love those kids no different than if they were their own...and their are thousands of chldren in this country that are up for adoption that need a loving home. Use that option as a last resort. As long as y'all love each other, that is what matters. Look into all available options, and go with her to her next doctor's appointment when you both feel comfortable to move forward with having a child together.

And don't forget, be supportive as possible, and discuss it openly with her. I know it must be hard for you too, but you have to reassure her that there are many possibilities on the table, and you are willing to engage and explore all of them when she is ready to try.

Best of luck to you both and your future together. Hang in there.
Thanks Tex, I've always told her that she can come to me for anything, but what she told me today took me by complete surprise and I didn't know what to say to her to comfort her. I felt powerless.

But I'll keep my head up like you said, look into the alternative options if it comes down to it and most of all, be there for her no matter what, she means the world to me after all.
 

Steveo 90

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#8
sik hang in there.......both my wife and i thought we could not have children,turns out with a little help from above we were wrong and three beautiful gifts later here we are


i understand every situation is different and its very stressful for the both of you,but this really could end up making your relationship stronger as long as you remain patient and listen to your gf......just let her vent and when she is calm look into her eyes and smile and tell her how beautiful she is


good luck to you guys and please remember there are medical breakthroughs all the time so you never can tell
 

SikShift

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#9
sik hang in there.......both my wife and i thought we could not have children,turns out with a little help from above we were wrong and three beautiful gifts later here we are


i understand every situation is different and its very stressful for the both of you,but this really could end up making your relationship stronger as long as you remain patient and listen to your gf......just let her vent and when she is calm look into her eyes and smile and tell her how beautiful she is


good luck to you guys and please remember there are medical breakthroughs all the time so you never can tell
Thanks Steveo :)

I had to get out of the house and took a nice, spirited drive on the backroads by my house to calm down. You know what, i also think this could make us stronger.

And congrats on your beautiful children, I cant wait until its my turn
 
H

Hayesimus

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#10
I'd like to mention adoption here. There are more than enough kids in foster care or whatnot. It will be unfortunate to not be able to father your own flesh and blood, but you can still love another child just as much and you may their only chance at a family. So, don't ever give up on having a child someday. Even if its not your biological kid.
 

chrismmm

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#11
peace to sikshift. pray for some help. I will pray for you. this happens a lot and find a good friend to talk to and listen and talk. hang in there brother.
i have 3 kids..after they are grown and in their own homes you will still be with your wife. if u love her then thats whats important.
 

Youngbinks

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#12
Don't forget the possibility of finding a surrogate mother. It is very expensive but the baby will be your "flesh and blood". Adoption is always another fantastic alternative. Sorry to hear the bad news and I really hope it works out for you.
 

SikShift

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#14
Thanks to everybody for thief advice and support. Tomorrow is when she goes in for lab work, I'll update when she gets the results.
 

connie

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Jul 11, 2007
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#16
I hope they are wrong, I hate when doctors say something "may be" and then they don't really know for sure until they do tests and they scared you for nothing. My brother was told there was something wrong with his blood count a few weeks ago and the doctor told him it "may" be cancer, because whatever was off in his blood count was usually a sign of cancer. He said it very matter of factly and no big deal. Well once he said the C word and my brother told us we were all freaked out and holding our breathes until the blood test was re-done. When he got the results, the doctor was all like "no, I guess it wasn't cancer after all, everything is fine" as if no big deal, well the guy was clueless on what he put my brother through for those few days of not knowing.
Sometimes I just don't get doctors or the whole health system, but anyways, best of luck, I will say a prayer, I am hoping for you that they are wrong.
 

Abominogg

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Oct 19, 2008
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Dude, they're doing wonders with fertility treatments these days. Don't give up. Practice makes perfect (and makes babies, too).
 

Ramesh

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#18
Hey Sik - I'm sorry to hear that. That's a fear of my wife as well. Her parents didn't think they could have children, so they adopted a daughter. Then a few years later, my wife was born. Never give up hope.
 

SikShift

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Hey Sav - I'm sorry to hear that. That's a fear of my wife as well. Her parents didn't think they could have children, so they adopted a daughter. Then a few years later, my wife was born. Never give up hope.
Savio is going through the same thing? That sucks :(

But thanks again to everybody, this is why I knew this was the right forum to post this in, I can really feel the love
 

Ramesh

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Savio is going through the same thing? That sucks :(

But thanks again to everybody, this is why I knew this was the right forum to post this in, I can really feel the love
Sorry man, I got confused. I used to know a few OBGYN's in Btown. Most have moved. I wish I could do something for you...