There are two things you can do which are completely safe.
The first is the most simple, but easily overlooked.
1- Open iTunes, click your phone icon in the left column. On the screen that follows, make sure "automatically sync when this phone is connected" is checked.
The iPhone will not launch iTunes unless that check box is set to ON, ie Checked.
2- Reinstall iTunes. You may be prompted to "Repair" your installation. If this is the case, do so, it will restore your registry settings and any missing files. If it simply asks to Re-Install, do so, it will still inherit your library.
Good luck
Edit-
Also, when you plug in your iPhone you should hear 2 chimes. One for the phone, and one for the camera. What windows is prompting you for, is what you want to do with the pictures it's discovered on the camera.
Find the camera in your "My Computer" window, and right click it selecting Properties. Click the Auto-Play tab and pull the pulldown menu to Photos. From the list below select "Do Nothing" and click Apply/Ok.
I think this is what you already did, maybe I've helped clarify it for you if that's the case.